Hey Moon, Please Forget To Fall Down.

So, recently, I have been lurking fbr_trash on livejournal, and it's taught me some thing's about some of my favorite bands that I wish I never would have found out...

So now, I'm forcing myself to stay off of that site, as addicting and sometimes hilarious it can be, it has shown me some horrible stuff about some bands that I love and truly look up to, and I don't know if I can believe it or not.

I know... don't believe everything you read on the internet... blah blah blah, well I don't believe everything, but what should I believe?

They're pumping lies through the web and i can't decipher the truth.

For instance, word has it on fbrt that Beckett has some sort of hand-wart problem-thing going on. Hey, that's cool... why do we need to know? we're fans, not family, we shouldn't have to know every little problem that they have. I actually believe that one, though, it doesn't weird me out or anything, dude, Sydney never shuts up about her warts.

Beckett, if you have hand-warts FLAUNT THOSE BABIES.

Anyway, there are many more um, would you call them... rumors? sure, but anyway, the one that really hits me hard is, since I've been going on there, I've found out about people's suspicion of Panic at the Disco's drug habits. I honestly have no no no idea why this is bothering me so much. Half of my friends are "pot heads" themselves, and I'm cool with that. I don't do it myself, I'm just not against other people using it. But for some reason, learning that Panic at the Disco might be using it really hurts.

I feel like I've been let down big time.

The scary thing for me is that I never ever trust in anyone enough to let myself feel like I've been let down by anything they do, I always feel like I let other people down.

I don't know... does that make sense? If it doesn't, oh well, no one truly reads this.

ANYWAY, I know they're people and they can do whatever the fuck they want, but it truly irks me. Just thinking that they might seriously be potheads, after everything they've been though, I don't know, I would think that with what I've heard people say what Ryan went through with his dad, he would never thing about even drinking (but that's a different subject) let alone do drugs. But maybe what I heard about him was all just a lie? Who knows, the internet is full of lies.

See, that's the thing, I can't believe anything I've ever heard about them now.
When I look at a picture of them, I get angry at Ryan and Brendon. I honestly don't give a shit about Jon, not because I don't care about him, as much as a fan can care about a band member, but because I think that he is slightly more mature then Ryan and Brendon, and it just seems like he can take care of himself better, yes, even while high. And Spencer... I don't even know what to think of Spencer anymore, he used to be my favorite, but now... I just don't know.

I really believe that this should not be affecting me as much as it is, and I want to make myself love them as much as I used to, even though I think that true love for a band never does die, it only fades, so technically yes, I still "love" them, I just am completely and utterly angered at them.

I used to look up to them the most. I used to think that they we're "genius's" of my time, because they brought back a type of music that was "old fashioned"-to an extent, and it was fun with jazzy piano licks. is that even the expression... piano licks? ha. Anyway... yeah, it's fun music.

And then there's Pretty. Odd. It's different then anything anyone has done, in a long time. (well, okay probably not ANYONE, i'm sure there's some very unknown bands probably made music like it, that I haven't heard) and it's just one album full of lullabies and riddles. It really is an album that can sooth you but make you think at the same time.

Okay, I must confess, after venting my feelings, all I want to do is listen to them right now.